ninety year old nadir

ok, so my grandma is only 82. but she literally just interrupted my top chef on demand watching by falling in our hallway whilst trying to get to the bathroom and is currently wallowing/screaming absolute incoherities/fake crying.

for those of you who don't know my grandma personally, allow me to describe: she is 199 lbs, the president of her senior citizens group, she has three tattoos (marking her 60th, 70th, and 80th birthdays), takes ambien every night, and washes down her dinner with a beverage she defends as "wine". something tells me the daily's and prescriptives didn't interact as planned this evening.

update: grandma made it back to bed and my mom just shouted, "no more drugs. not tonight, no more!"